RyuuzakoNightray

So much tagging
Tagged by Edremail

RULES:
1. You Have To Post These Rules.
2. Each Person Has To Share 13 Things About Them.
3. Answer The 13 Questions Asked To You And Invent 13 Questions The People You Tag Will Have To Answer.
4. Choose 13 People.
5. You Have To Tag 13 People, If You Can.
6. Tag-Backs Are ALLOWED.
7. Be Creative With The Title. No "I've Got Tagged" Things. 
8. You Can't Say You Don't Do Tags.

Facts:
1. i want a cat. i love cats.
2. avid procastinator, yet flaming nerd; and i have no idea how it works.
3. medicine is delicious. that's why my favourite candy are these subtly flavoured blank pills.
4. i'll go through 4 packets of that stuff in an hour and a half.
5. i'm shit at crafts 'cause i never consider how gravity and other physical bullshit can affect the end product. so i stick to drawing.
6. never been to coasts, the sea or even a big river.
7. i want to dye my hair black with blue and silver streaks or something batshit like that. maybe someday.
8. never been to a pub, either.
9. i know the lyrics to that Prince Loki song by heart. look it up.
10. i regularly fantasise about stealing the big boxes of bonbons from the supermarket.
11. don't have a phone. smh @ millenials these days
12. average day: 50% daydreaming, 30% actual dreaming, 20% functioning.
13. i have an irrational hatred for puns. not even mad at the punners, i just, HEUGH.

Edremail's Trivia

1. do you enjoy or hate life?
Mostly enjoy it, when I'm thinking about it. Luckily never had serious suicidal thoughts, just the desire to stop existing for a while and come back refreshed.

2. What do you like about people/humanity?
It cool. There's art. I like art. Nice people are nice. Music is awesome. I dunno.

3. Do you vote for Donald trump? (I surely don't)
Nah. Not even if I were American.

4: do you know what's different about question 4?
Yeh. Spotted them dots. Clever.

5. Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?
I don't believe in anything. But if there's ayy lmaos out there and they're friendly, tell them I say hi.

6. Do you enjoy being my friend?
I would if I were. It's always nice having friends. Is this a proposition?

7. Are you gay/lesbian? Or both? (You don't need to answer that)
Probably not. Who needs a sexuality when you have art and Internet?

7. Do you think that what people do is to show off, or help humanity?
It depends on the person, and the thing they do. I won't be quick to assume superficiality, but won't be idealistic either.

9. You notice what I did there with the 7s?
Now I did. 

10. What do you think is life's purpose?
1. Make art
2. Make money with art
3. Buy clothes with money (and a cat)
4. Make friends
5. Hang out with friends
6. Yay
Don't quote me on this, tho.

11. Why IS 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 could and has beaten the shit outta 6 with his crowbar.
(See Homestuck - Intermission and Paradox Space - The Inagural Death of Mister Seven)

12. What kind of video games do you like?
Something I can get for free, that my PC can run, with bright colours and good music.

13. Do you like making art?
Yeah. I figured this might be the right place. Maybe. Goin' by the title.

~I'M NOT GONNA TAG ANYONE BECAUSE I'M NOT POPULAR ENOUGH TO DO THAT, thanks~

Sorry! I'm not dead or hiatusing. I've been drawing like crazy yesterday and today, but all that comes out is LQ, nsfw or both. And I have a policy against both. Although I do have a ONE Deviantart-worthy picture 3/4 done. But since I've been drawing so much, all my responsibilities piled up for today. I'm trying to digest an entire unit of a course within the next 2 hours, even though I don't have to, but I'm trying to impress them, so I kinda have to, but anyway, I just. I'm going to post something tomorrow, promise. Okay? Okay. 

I guess posting some overly-dramatic, pseudo-poetic "vent" journal in my only media outlet is what I'm supposed to do now. I feel like doing it. I think I've seen other people do it. Welp here goes nothing.
You know those moments when tragedy and injustice hits real close to home and people either find shelter on or start rejecting previous religious beliefs or just generally have a moment of existential questioning and running around circles? I'm glad I'm over that phase. Because when that oh-shit moment happens I'm just left with good old 100% secular despair.
Since like two years ago there's a thought that stuck with me and it's that the downside of having a healthy relationship with your parents, who happen to be exceptionally good parents and just exceptionally good people in general, is that you'll really miss them when they die. It stuck mainly because I'm crushingly aware of how old they are. Older than average. Younger than some of my peeps', healthier than most, sure, but still.
They also have like one single friend in total. The only one that stuck around for a pair of nerds like them.
You know, life is shitty. But I'll tell you up-front, no bias, this country is shittier. It's shit. Just, shit. Imagine being born in this country. Having to live a considerable amount of time in this country. With your every move and every thought, every time you try to make yourself a decent life, you just get mutilated. Imagine having to decide between living in a putrid madhouse city or a disgustingly mediocre town. And settling down with the town, because you'd rather die from boredom than raped and/or murdered by a some thief.
Every day we wake up trying to get out of here, each on their own way. I try to wash away the mediocrity by obsessing over a webcomic, or a TV show. They remove themselves to the environment of a classy mystery british mini-series on Netflix.
Mediocre. It's the only way to describe this place. I try to get a kick out of the shitshow that surrounds us, they don't have the energy to do that anymore.
Imagine having dreams, aspirations, talent. Imagine. Imagine a colossal number of variables which you have 0% control over, suddenly manifest themselves in the form of a fucking degenerative neurological I don't even fucking care and it doesn't even fucking have a goddamn name. Tough luck. TOUGH FUCKING LUCK. YOU JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE A GENETICAL PREDISPORSITION OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CALL IT IN THIS DUMB FUCKING LANGUAGE. and you're trying to get out of this fucking MEDIOCRE hellhole. MEDIOCRE. MEDIOCRE. MEDIOCRE. AND YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE MEDIOCRE. BUT IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT YOU SUDDENLY GOT THIS fucking NEUROLOGICAL BULLSHIT WHILE THE MORBIDLY OBESE FUCKING DDDUUMMMB BITCHES THAT GO AROUND THIS FUCKING TOWN HAVING FUCKING AFFAIRS WITH THE SHIRTLESS NEIGHBUR AND HIS COUSIN AT THE NIGHTCLUB AND TALKING ABOUT THAT SHIT. THEY'RE IN PRIME FUCKING CONDITION.

She cries. She cried. Not out of self-pity, because she's stronger than that. She was taking ballete fucking classes in the middle of the civil fucking war. she grew up in the fucking countryside, hunting. fishing. she was always a good student. pushed harder. to get that fucking title. to work, and make her life worth it. worth something to tell your children, and the possible children of her children.
She doesn't cry for dumb shit. She doesn't cry at "emotional" movies. She didn't even cry when the idiotic bitch of my sister left the fucking house to become one and only with the mediocrity. that fucking bitch. that bitch that needs to pay for the fucking money, the time and the emotional fucking strain of her fucking parents trying to get her to amount to fucking something in her life. But she's not even worth talking about.
What's worth talking about is the fact that she cries. She cries of nothing but pain, because her head hurts and her body is moving when it shouldn't. It's pain. Not only the fucking headache, it's the pain of not having the control.
The one thing that she wants in life, is control. Doing what she wants, with the people she loves. And this fucking shit, that she doesn't have control over, that I don't have control over, that my father doesn't have control over, this fucking shit that I can't blame anyone for, that just happens and it happened to HER and it's latching her the fuck down into this cesspool of MEDIOCRITY. it's the single fucking worst thing in this pathetic, depressing world.
Of course, we're going to do the fucking best we can do, contact the best doctors nearby. Make them fix this fucking shit. I'll tell my father to not cut down the fucking budget for my future studies or anything. I'll wear a fucking potato sack, or sell this fucking computer or my digital pen, or do anything, because I'm not leaving this hellhole without her. This fucking awful place is not a place that anyone, especially not her, deserve to spend the rest of her life in. Or spend any amount of time in. I'll try my best. We're fukcing leaving. We're fucking leaving this province, this country. We're fucking going to a place where it's worth living in. I'll work my fucking arse off to get her out of here. Both of them. Fuck this town. Fuck everyone in it. Fuck this entire fucking country. Fuck you all. The 30+ fucking morons in my fucking class and the idiot staff. You were never a part of my life.

I told everyone
My responsibilities
Were taken care of

Little did they know
All I did was anime
And I want to scream